Gripe

Oh man. I’ve been looking forward to today for a long time. I made plans for my mom to watch the boys while I attended a hypno-doula training. The training was great. In addition to learning how to support women who choose hypnobabies, I also received some wonderful advice from some more experienced doulas. I’m really excited about getting back into my work and am hopeful that things will pick up soon. So here comes the gripe:

Scott left for NY on Friday and I don’t have any groceries that would amount to dinner – at least not easily and it was already 5:30 when we left my parents house. Aitan had only snoozed for about an hour all day 1/3 of his normal nap, so I knew he needed to eat and get to bed pronto. Besides the boys already were running behind. I usually try to feed them at 5:00 so I can bath them and get them in bed by 7:30. So, I figured we could stop somewhere on the way home. The fwy entrance was closed so I had to detour through South Pasadena and then Ilan started crying for the potty and so I just stopped at Kentucky Fried Chicken because it was there. I figured it couldn’t be that bad, but I was so wrong. Not only was it FILTHY!! The chicken was soggy, the corn was overcooked, and the macaroni and cheese tasted like plastic (probably because it was). I felt like such a sucker. And totally miserable. What was I putting in my kids’ bodies?

So we leave and arrive home. The front door is open, as in wide open. As in not locked swinging in the wind open. I haven’t spoken with my mom yet, but I’m assuming she was overwhelmed with the boys and forgot to lock the door. I see the camera and computer on the desk and figure if someone was going to take something they would start with those and assume no one has come into the apartment. We go into the boys room so I can change Aitan’s diaper and I noticed the door to my bedroom is shut. Two possibilities, my mom shut it to keep the boys out, or someone was in there. So I kept the boys in their room and shouted “If anyone is in the bedroom, please come out now and there will be no consequences. (Silence) ‘m going to open the door now.” Fortunately, no one was in there. But still not pleasant.

So I get the boys ready for bed. Aitan is still not asleep (2 hours later) and Ilan just fell asleep after the “I’ve passed the tired mark and have had a brief adrenaline rush that is making me tired, irrational and totally miserable to deal with.” All I wanted to do tonight was call a friend who is in the hospital (which it is now too late to do), make a grocery list, and follow-up on some of my doula stuff. Counting on His mercies being new tomorrow. I need ’em.