Well, we’re back home and trying to get this congregation up and running.  There are a lot of question marks for us at the moment.  I am trying to work through my options and find out what I really want to do when I grow up.  Lately I have been going to work with my dad, helping him out with his business.  The idea of helping him partially retire and maybe taking over the business one day has been tossed up but I’m not sure where it will land.  I’ve enjoyed going to work with my dad, and I really think I would enjoy learning the craft of wood refinishing, but I am not sure I want to pour my life into it.

Investigating my options, I met with a childbirth educator in the area and she recommended that I complete my doula certification.  I had put this on the back burner because I thought it was just too hard with a baby, but now that I have a support network, I think I might be able to do it.  It’s not like I will be gone all the time with this kind of job.  I will just be on call at odd times.  We’ll see how it goes.

Being home, but not my home has been really interesting.  I feel like I should be accomplishing a lot more, but the days just sort of blur together.  Is this what life is like as a housewife?  I’ve always thought that those wildly organized housewives with the weeks that were precisely organized were a bit too obsessive, but I’ve decided I need a little more structure than I have now.  At the very least it will help me prioritize things and make sure I’m spending my time how I really want to.  So, we’re adjusting.  And we’re raising support in a really slow economy.  And I think I will let God work it out.

Well, folks the long awaited moment has finally come for us.  Tomorrow we fly to London, spend the night, and then leave for LA.  Whew!  We made it!  We’ve had an amazing experience, but we are so excited about what we have to come home to.  I was reading an e-mail from a friend who just moved to LA to plant a church and was feeling so jealous about the relationships they have started building and the doors that have opened for them.  Not jealous in a bad way, but in an exited way…I can’t wait to meet “our” people and to share a little bit of God’s love with them.

I’m sorry if we haven’t spoken about this personally.  The chances are pretty good considering I haven’t spoken to many people about it.  But I am in the process of having a miscarriage.  We found out on Friday that I was pregnant…we weren’t trying, but the plan was to stop “not trying” next month, so it was a little surprise, but one we were happy about. I was just over 4 weeks pregnant.

While we’ve been in Israel, 3 of my friends here have had miscarriages.  One was so surprised to learn about how many women in her life had gone through one hadn’t said anything until they knew she was experiencing one.  The fact is, though, that most women who have children experience at least one miscarriage.  I am writing about this because maybe someday you will need to know you are not alone…just like my friends here have allowed me to know.

Though the process is sad, I can see God’s hand in it and I understand this to be a measure of Grace from him.  Although our insurance here doesn’t cover anything pregnancy related I was able to speak with my midwife from Texas about it and she helped ease my mind a bit.  I know the following verse to be true, and although I know Scott and I live a blessed life, the Lord has and will continue to allow us to experience hardship for the sake of our calling to minister to his people.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
2 Corinthians 1:3 & 4

I’ll admit that Scott and I have spent way too much time during our last weeks in Israel watching the television show House.  We had seen it a couple of times before and recently watched a couple episodes at some friends house in Jerusalem.  That was enough to get us hooked.  So during nap time and once Ilan is asleep for the night you know who makes a visit.  He is appallingly rude, yet for someone with such low interpersonal skills, he is incredibly insightful.  So far Scott is completely freaked out about tapeworm.  And lets just say I will be extra sure to wash our new clothes before we wear them.

Anyway, we were chatting yesterday about how it’s strange to feel so uninterested in being here when it is such an awesome opportunity for us and I think I narrowed down part of the problem.  Obviously the glamor of being here has rubbed off a little.  It’s still a great place and we still have quite a bit we’d like to see, but it’s not exactly new anymore.  To be honest, we’ve seen all the major sights and I’m a little tired of looking at piles of rocks.  The main problem is the fact that we have nothing we have to do and it has left us both feeling a little purposeless.  We are on the perpetual vacation.  I think working on the proposal for our congregation has only intensified the feelings of uselessness.  With all of this vision developing in our hearts and minds, it’s hard to not want to just jump into things.  The last 7 years of our lives have been about preparing for this project and now we just can’t wait to get started.

I also have to say that we have been very thankful for the house we have been living in, but we will also be so happy to have a space that is rodent and scorpion free.  We have been much less than comfortable here.  I’ve just had to ignore things and try not to think about it otherwise I wouldn’t make it.  All that said, we’ll be glad to start the CPM staff conference next week, which will begin just over a month of being tourists…oh wait…

So, pray that we will make the most of the time we have and that we will live in the present.  Tonight we will be camping in the north at a Hurshat Tal.  We’ve camped there before.  It’s a nice grassy campground with a river (one of the sources to the Jordan) that flows through it.  They’ve made a little water park out of it so we thought we’d let Ilan have some fun splashing around.  The more we fill up our time with fun activities the less we feel like we’re counting the hours and minutes.